Mike and Linda met in 1996 at Rensselaer, where Linda was half-way through her Bachelor's degree and Mike had just moved to pursue his PhD (after receiving his BS from Caltech). They both played ultimate frisbee on the college team, Trudge, which is how they first met.
Mike will tell you that he has been smitten with Linda since the winter of 1996. Linda probably wouldn't admit to the same, but her scrapbooks and college memorabilia suggest otherwise. It's probably a good thing that Mike was so shy though - both had many life lessons still to learn before they'd be ready to commit to another completely.
They drifted in and out of each other's lives, connecting each year at "frisbee thanksgiving". There was always a spark between them - in fact, the winter of 2002, they almost wound up together, but the timing still just wasn't quite right. In fact, Linda played the "f" card (let's just be friends), which quickly squelched their flirtatious email exchanges.
Linda got sick in 2005. At "frisbee thanksgiving" that year, Mike helped to organize a fundraiser in Linda's honor, raising close to $1000 for Komen. Needless to say, Linda was incredibly touched. That night, the two stayed up talking into the wee hours of the morning - discussing their fears, disappointments, relationships and dreams. The conversation flowed so easily and honestly, neither one wanted it to end (though Linda, just finishing four months of chemo, was exhausted!) They left Troy that weekend with a newly revived connection (Mike was so distracted by his thoughts, he got on Rt 90 going the wrong direction -- adding 30 minutes to his 3 hour drive back to Ithaca!)
Once again, the two traded emails and eventually decided that Mike would visit Linda in NJ. Just before the visit, Linda once again got cold feet and tried to cancel. She knew she really liked this friendship with Vogel, but she also suspected that he was interested in more than just a friendship -- and she was unsure whether she wanted that too. She decided to have Mike visit and they spent a friendly weekend playing disc golf, watching movies and talking about life. She drew a fairly obvious line that this was to be a platonic relationship and Mike didn't push the issue. On Sunday morning, Mike prepared to leave, but when he went to start his car, it wouldn't start! Being a Sunday, there was nobody available to fix it, so it looked like Mike would have to stay another night (convenient!). That night, deciding fate doesn't give you infinite chances, Mike shared with Linda the feelings he had been keeping bottled up inside. Linda couldn't deny the connection they had, but also was unsure of whether she was in the right place to allow someone to love her (she had been hurt, plus, she was still trying to force herself to cry over her stupid illness... who knew what other kinds of emotional baggage she was storing up?). But Mike was patient. They left things undefined and Mike headed back to Ithaca.
Their email exchanges grew and they continued their conversations on the phone for hours on end. The holidays approached and Mike surprised himself by telling his mother about this wonderful woman he had met. A few days before New Year's, Mike was back in Ithaca and Linda was in NJ. They were trading text messages at 8pm. Cornell was deserted and Mike wasn't really making much progress with his research (how could he when he was on the phone with Linda 24-7?). They decided that they were both being ridiculous. Mike got in his car and made the four hour drive to NJ. When he walked through the door at midnight, any lingering doubt in Linda's mind disappeared... and they never looked back.
1 comment:
There are only ever one of two or two of two problems in any relationship: Anger or Fear.
It looks as though you both have conquered your fear! I hope you don't have any anger.
My (our) best to you both. Let us know as soon as you can when the special date is.
Bud, Travis, Garret, & Mary Beth.
Post a Comment